Everything you need to know about romance scams

Australians lost more than $23.5 million to romance scams last year, and the most targeted group was over 55s. These cruel and dangerous scams can have serious financial and emotional consequences for victims. Here’s everything you need to know about spotting romance scams and how to protect yourself.

Load video

What is a romance scam?

Show transcript

Close transcript

Australians lost more than forty million dollars to romance scams in 2022. Romance scams happen when a scammer builds a close relationship with a victim online and convinces them to transfer money or participate in unusual financial activity.

Here are the key warning signs to watch out for:

- A love interest who won’t meet in person;
- Inconsistencies in information they’ve shared;
- Reluctance to talk about themselves;
- Attempts to move contact off social media and onto a private app or to the phone.

Once romance scammers have a connection with a victim, they will ask to borrow money, or try to coax a victim into an investment opportunity.

- Never give money to someone you don’t know, even if they promise they’ll pay it back. Funds you transfer voluntarily most likely cannot be recovered or reimbursed if it turns out to be a scam.
- If you think someone might be a scammer, reverse image search their photos using Google Lens to see if they’re being used elsewhere online. This is often a sign that the profile they are using is fake and a red flag that they are not who they say they are.
- Talk to friends and family about any online love interest, and listen if they people you trust voice any concerns about the relationship or your safety.

If you think you’ve been scammed, contact your bank immediately. Visit bendigobank.com.au/security for more information and how to get help.

Close transcript

What is a romance scam?

A romance scam involves a scammer establishing an online relationship with a victim, usually via online dating sites or apps. The scammer may use a fake name and image, or use someone else’s identity in order to build the relationship and attract victims. Once the relationship commences, the scammer will convince the victim to give or loan them money.

How to spot a romance scam

Online romances can be exciting, and it’s easy to get swept up in the joy of a new relationship. However, scammers prey on victims’ emotional vulnerability. If you or someone you know has commenced an online relationship, be sure to watch out for these red flags:

• Any requests for money, even if they promise to pay it back.
• Anything that feels unusual, like vague messages or inconsistencies in information about themselves.
• Anyone that makes excuses not to meet in person or via video call, for example they may promise to visit, and then cancel at the last minute, or avoid in person contact altogether.
• Intense communication and rapid escalation of the relationship, for example bold declarations of love after only a short time.
• A change in tone or demeanour, particularly if they go from warm and loving to demanding and threatening.
• Insistence on moving communications off the dating site and into a private message thread.

If something doesn’t feel right

If you suspect something isn’t right, here are some steps you can take to protect yourself:

• Research the person online. Search their name and alleged location, and upload their photo into Google Lens to reverse image search it. This will display whether that photo is being used elsewhere online. If it is, this suggests they may be using a fraudulent identity.
• Don’t give any further personal information away, and don’t transfer any money for any reason.
• Change important passwords if you think there’s any chance your accounts or personal data may have been compromised.

If a friend or family member has commenced an online relationship and you’re concerned they could be involved with a scammer, gently offer support and insights into red flags. Sometimes an outside perspective can be what raises the alarm and protects someone from becoming a romance scam victim.

For more steps you can take to protect yourself from scams, read our latest guide here.

To stay safe, remember to Stop, Think and Protect

• Stop – before you make a quick decision, stop. Is this person who they say they are?
• Think – what are the red flags? Does anything not feel right about what you’re being asked to do?
• Protect – act quickly if something feels wrong. Contact your bank for support if you’re transferred funds. Report the scam to Scamwatch.

If you notice unusual activity or if a scammer gets your money or information, visit www.bendigobank.com.au/security to report it and get support. If you think you have transferred money to a scammer, call us immediately on 1300 236 344.

If you have provided personal information, particularly photo identity documents like passports and driver’s licences, contact IDCARE to take steps to protect your identity.